It's been a while. My (attempted) weekly updates have been a bit more sporadic recently due to a few things. The main reason for this is the fact that I've been feeling a bit down.
A few weeks back many months of unrest resulted in one and then another member of my band leaving.
They both had good reasons, great reasons really, and I truly wish them the best in all of their adventures but it did leave me feeling a little despondent and if I'm being really honest, betrayed.
Not that there was an actual betrayal in the Shakespearean sense but just in the way that for the last few years we had worked as a team, laughed, cried, shared our hopes and dreams and worked together for them. I would compare it to the break down of a romantic relationship but my memories of those are sketchy at best.
Suffice to say it was a bit jarring to suddenly have two people that had pledged their love and support to a cause abruptly tell you that essentially they just didn't care anymore.
I'm not criticising the people involved, I love them both and I completely understand their reasons. Or actually I know their reasons, to say I understand is probably a bit too much because that's the point. I don't. I don't understand.
My band is the love of my life. I can't remember a time before it, it's like playing in this band was what my life was always working towards. But lets face it, a band is really just it's members, at least on the inside. Outside it can have a life of its own, a personality, a purpose. But on the inside it's just a group of people working together for a common goal.
One of my favourite quotes about this is one that I heard from someone at Bigsound a few years ago, I apologise to whom ever it was as I simply can't recall now -
"Being in a band is like being in a gang"
It's so true. You have a mentality of "we're all in this together and we're going to work it out" so to have that sort of dissolve and break apart has been very disorientating. In addition, and in a much more mundane way, the simple act of going every week to band prac and playing music, sharing that time and energy was very invigorating and always reminded me why I do this. Not having that has left me a little bit adrift.
Don't get me wrong, the band is not done. Dan and I have grand plans, we're still writing and in fact I finished off another song last night which I'm excited about getting out there for people to hear. We're just in a bit of a regrouping phase.
So that's why it's been a bit hard to focus on posts here in amongst everything. Now, onwards and upwards as they say.
 |
| The Curse of Mary Sue 2013 |
No comments:
Post a Comment